4 Steps to Improve Your Question-Asking Skills

It’s quite easy to fall into the habit of asking questions that take us off course from the outcomes we want most. Fortunately, it’s also easy to get into the habit of asking questions that help us connect more closely with others and open worlds of possibilities!

Here are 4 steps you can take to improve your question-asking skills. You’ll be amazed how easy it is to challenge ordinary ways of thinking and doing, to invite diverse and different perspectives, to discover new information and useful knowledge, and to stimulate creativity and innovation.

Take a look at these techniques for asking more effective and impactful questions that produce or generate outcomes worth achieving.

Step 1 – Shift your mindset from “Me” to “We”

When we feel fearful or are in protect mode, we blame, shame, defend, and retreat. We’re not able to have a conversation worth having. Conversations worth having come from the pre-frontal lobe, full brain, connect mindset. It’s here where you’ll have access to higher order thinking, creativity, and the ability to connect and bond with others. To get into that head space or mindset, reflect on this question: What words might you use to help trigger the happiness hormones that help you shift your mindset from “Me” to “We,” such as “I see your point” and “I totally agree”?

Step 2 – Ask a Better Question

This sounds like a trick, doesn’t it? Can one of the steps to improving your question-asking skills be “ask a better question?” Yes, it certainly can. It has to do with the type of question you ask – one that invites you to adopt an attitude of genuine curiosity. Similar to how generative artificial intelligence refers to the use of AI to create new content, like text, images, music, audio, and videos, generative questions help people see new options for decisions and actions and get excited to move toward them.

Step 3 – Formulate an Effective Question

Avoid the word “Why,” which tends to make people naturally defensive. Instead, ask questions that invite possibilities such as:

• “When we’re at our best, what’s happening?”
• “How do others see this?”
• “What are we curious to learn more about that might help us take next steps?”
• “How do our strengths fit into the realities of the marketplace?”

Add the word “might” to any question you ask to help others move out of a fearful, protect mode into a connect mode. Using the word “might” in a question signals you’re looking for possibilities rather than right or wrong answers.

Step 4 – Give it a Try!

Practice is a vital key to establishing new habits. Fortunately, everyday interactions provide lots of opportunities to practice improving your question-asking skills. Give it a try when you want to promote effective communication, spark meaningful conversations, motivate and engage teams, and enhance critical thinking.

To learn more about fostering conversations worth having, download our free Conversation Toolkit and consider attending our fall Conversation Bootcamp (available in Spanish) or reading Conversations Worth Having (Spanish translation Conversaciónes due transforman). A fun way to teach employees how to ask generative questions that support a culture of positivity and possibility is to play Shift This! with them.

By Kelly Stewart. In a world where challenges and change are constant, I value the usefulness of helping people tap into the unrealized potential that exists within their organizations. I believe better results – the ones we desire – begin with better conversations, and the art and science of asking generative questions is one way to get there quickly.

Photo by Small Group Network on Unsplash

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