How Do Your Conversations Feel?
Jun 24, 2018
This month I, Jackie Stavros, was invited to share Conversations Worth Having at the Natural View Marketplace and Wellness Medspa in my hometown, Brighton, Michigan. I opened with a question … How many of you want to live a healthy, good life? Naturally, everyone raised their hand and I shared, “There is both magic and science behind being able to do that!”
I asked everyone to engage in a short exercise (you can try right now as well, if you’d like): Reflect on a conversation you experienced that was critical, destructive, or crappy. A time when you were angry with one of your kids, boss, or spouse, perhaps you lost a game, or someone sucked energy out of you.”
Then I asked the group to turn to someone and share how that conversation made them feel? The energy in the room was low as well as the conversation tone.
Then I asked each person to sit up tall, take three deep breaths, and smile. I invited them to close their eyes again and reflect on a conversation that was uplifting, happy, joyous, or life-affirming. A conversation that was appreciative in nature. Then I asked them to share with the same person how this conversation felt and how reliving it made them feel now. This time the energy level was high! There was laughter, people were smiling, and I had a hard time getting their attention back.
This is what our book, Conversations Worth Having, is all about! Conversations are how we interact with our self and others, and it influences our and others wellbeing! I briefly shared my writing journey with Cheri Torres, and then gave everyone a copy of our Conversations Quick Start Pocket Guide,which highlights the Appreciative Inquiry principles and the two practices from the book: How to choose a positive frame and ask generative questions.
Think about the nature of your conversations: Your conversation can make all the difference in your life or someone else’s. We are very grateful to Stephanie Schlueter, Manager of Natural View Market for both suggesting and providing the venue for this event. Stephanie shared,
“Conversations Worth Having has shifted the way I enter, engage, and react in my daily conversations. It has opened my eyes to how easy it is to shift from impulsive, emotional reactivity to productive, mindful conversations. When this book came to me, I was adjusting to the ‘adult’ phase in my life. I had taken on several new roles: becoming a manager, a wife; I felt overwhelmed at times by the obstacles and responsibilities that had come my way. After learning to practice the Appreciative Inquiry principles outlined in this book, I have been able to shift my viewpoint to focusing on the solutions that I am capable of pursuing instead of giving all my energy to the problems I face. This book has provided me with tools that have helped me to express myself genuinely, listen to and understand others, rearrange my responsibilities and become a more valuable version of myself- at work and home. It’s helped me deal with conflict in a more productive manner. By flipping my attitude and tone of the conversations I engage in, I find myself in a more balanced, peaceful state of mind. Jackie and Cheri – thank you so much for sharing this book with me. It came to me just when I needed it.”
