“Everyone Else Is on Instagram!”

 A Parent’s Guide to Navigating the Social Media Conversation

“All my friends are on TikTok. It’s not fair—I’m missing out!”

Sound familiar? If you’re a parent, chances are you’ve heard some version of this plea.

Deciding whether or not to let your child join social media can feel like choosing between protecting them and alienating them. The pressure is real—and the risks can be, too.

Don’t Decide Alone—Talk It Out

Here’s the good news: You don’t have to figure it out on your own. In fact, you shouldn’t. Inviting your child into the conversation not only models healthy decision-making—it builds their emotional intelligence, critical thinking, and resilience.

The key is to ask open-ended, generative questions and listen more than you speak.

If Your Child Is Already on Social Media…

Use it as an opportunity to strengthen their awareness and sense of responsibility. Here are some questions to get the conversation flowing:

• How do you decide what’s okay to post?
• What types of posts could be misinterpreted or used to hurt someone?
• What does it mean to be a positive presence online?
• What would you do if someone you know was being bullied?
• How do you want others to perceive you online?
• Who could you talk to if something online made you feel unsafe or embarrassed?

These aren’t gotcha questions—they’re invitations for reflection. And they let your child know: You trust them to think this through.

If Your Child Is Asking for Social Media…

Let’s say your child is begging for an Instagram account. Instead of jumping to “yes” or “no,” try a conversation like this:

You: What is it about Instagram that’s important to you?
Child: Everyone else is on it. I feel left out.
You: That makes sense—being excluded never feels good. What do you think are the upsides of being on Instagram?

Encourage them to make their own list. Then ask:

“Now, are there any risks you’ve seen or heard about?”

Let them wrestle with it. It’s okay if the conversation is messy. One mom I know had this very talk with her son. After walking through both pros and cons, she asked:

“So, how old do you think someone should be before getting on social media?”
His response? “Eighteen.” And then he walked away.

Let Conversations Do the Heavy Lifting

Ultimately, this isn’t about winning an argument or laying down the law. It’s about helping your child think critically, make informed decisions, and know they can come to you with anything—especially when it comes to the tricky, ever-changing world of social media.

You’re not just parenting through a digital dilemma.
You’re raising a thoughtful, resilient human. ❤️

Shared by Cheri Torres. With so much online bullying and fake or altered social media content, I feel stongly we need to be engaging our children in meaningful conversations to boost their ability to think critically, be discerning, and above all treat people with kindness and compassion online.

Photo by pexels-tima-miroshnichenko-7047613.jpg